19 Comments
User's avatar
nneka's avatar

Okay call me out! Lool needed to read this, and the craft of your writing is so so stunning, such a pleasure to read

Expand full comment
tunmise adebowale's avatar

omg thank you so much for reading!!!!! i love your work so this means a lot to me!!!!

Expand full comment
Stephanie C. Bell's avatar

My goodness, what a gorgeous read. AND an important one. This isn't something people talk about nearly often enough. Thank you for writing it. What wisdom you touched on here especially: "Craving validation from people we don’t even admire is dangerous because it leads us to compromise our values, suppress our instincts, and live according to standards we don’t believe in."

Expand full comment
tunmise adebowale's avatar

thank you for reading! you're right, it isn't discussed much so i am glad i was able to express that here

Expand full comment
Mohika Mudgal's avatar

You hit the hammer on the nail ☀️

Expand full comment
tunmise adebowale's avatar

thank you!!! ⭐️

Expand full comment
nini's avatar

super fascinating take, because i feel like some people may think of this as a niche experience—seeking validation from those you actually don’t even admire—but i’m so glad to see others share this feeling too, it’s nice to not be alone 🤍 beautiful writing :)

Expand full comment
tunmise adebowale's avatar

thank you for reading and understanding this 💛 seeing others share their thoughts made me realise this is not a peculiar experience but rather something many go through :)

Expand full comment
nini's avatar

thank you for your work!!! you’ve just helped me dawn upon that realization :’)

Expand full comment
em's avatar

“All the applause you’ve ever gathered in your life feels like an echo in someone else’s house” I stood up and applauded. Wow.

Expand full comment
tunmise adebowale's avatar

awww thank you so much 🫶🏾😭

Expand full comment
Nicole Chinery's avatar

If I could redo my junior high and High school years I would so violently be myself. I was so concerned to gain the approval of people who quite frankly wanted to be me. If I could I’d realise how much depth I already had and I’d own that because after years of people pleasing the return back to myself was very chaotic. But I’m glad I’m here now

Expand full comment
tunmise adebowale's avatar

it’s wonderful that you’ve realised how amazingly in-depth and cool you are!! sadly, many people don’t come to this realisation or just continue people pleasing. i wish more people become their unapologetic selves as you have

Expand full comment
Elín Ósk Jóhannsdóttir's avatar

Your writing is so beautiful! Real and poetic at the same time.

Expand full comment
tunmise adebowale's avatar

AWWW thank you so much! :)

Expand full comment
nia's avatar

wow. your words flow so seamlessly. the message itself is achingly real. beautiful piece <3

Expand full comment
tunmise adebowale's avatar

aww thank you for your kind words :,) i try my best

Expand full comment
Maddy's avatar

This was beautiful

Expand full comment
tunmise adebowale's avatar

aww thank you </3

Expand full comment