24 Comments
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Stephanie C. Bell's avatar

I love your whispers of honesty. Your essay made me think of this quote I recently encountered which I think (at least for me) might be at the heart of what you have expressed here:

"The only person we can lead to liberation is ourselves. Everybody has to go alone. Anybody who would like to come along is welcome. The bandwagon is big, and yet there aren’t enough people on it." ~ Ayya Khema, “Love Is a Skill”

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

thank you for reading and for sharing such a lovely quote! i appreciate all the support :)

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Praise Daniel's avatar

You always articulate my thoughts so perfectly, I’m so grateful you exist.

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

oh my, thank you for reading my work, i am so grateful for the support and love

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Rayyan's avatar

Right?!

It's like she's in my brain.

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xylerdz_'s avatar

This was honestly an emotional read for me. It is so often felt yet more often pushed aside. Though I am the opposite of this, though I cling to the loneliness that comes with putting up with being tolerated, it really brought out thoughts I couldn’t have had on my own. Thank you so much, your words hold immense strength

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

this is a very insightful thought, thank you for reading

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aud's autobiography's avatar

the metaphor of feeling like ‘leftovers on a plate’, as ‘something once enjoyed but now forgotten, pushed aside as the next thing comes along’ is (pun intended) *chef’s kiss*. but thank you for yet another insightful piece - always eagerly awaiting your next work.

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

awwww thank you so much for supporting and reading my work, i appreciate it

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Accacia's avatar

the last lines hurt but also an on time message to hear

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

thank you for reading this

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Hauwa Alkali's avatar

I like your posts even before I read them,I mostly relate to them, excellent and on point as always.

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

oh my, thank you for the huge support! it brightens my day seeing people like my work

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olivia's avatar

leaving hurts but asking for answers is humiliating

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

indeed it does feel like that

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Missteria's avatar

I started to do that too. Leaving silently. But I still have road to go. Sometimes i still sit in the situations that I don’t want to bei in it. So This writing of yours, will be my guidance. But also second part of your essay is something i did in the past too. About to hurt, about to get left out is so aching before they do, u pull the bandage. I get it. I don’t know how stay calmly in those times but I am learning. Thank you for your words.

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

thank you for reading my work and sharing your feelings :)

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Shima's avatar

❤️

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

💙

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mia's avatar

Wow. I’m in awe after reading your text. Honestly I’ve always felt this way and I’m in the process of learning to think better about myself and build trust with the fact that even if I didn’t get the love and attention I needed, I can start building new love and relationships patterns now…

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

thank you for reading! yes, developing trust is such a key step into new relationships and adventures

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Taiwo A's avatar
3dEdited

The story of my life!

I’ve been vulnerable, to near death, for too long and am no longer open to the possibilities of its bittersweetness. Yes, it’s often said that one should find and have the courage to leave the table if respect is no longer being served. Aah, now, I happily walk away, unapologetically, and without explanation, and no longer wait to be served disrespect and ostracism.

Life is too short to put on a façade of happiness for anyone, and especially not for up-to-no-gooders. Everybody’s days are numbered, and I, therefore, actively seek and choose the path to thriving and not simply surviving. I’d rather and rightly prioritise life in my years over years in my life by adjusting my life to neither tolerate nor accommodate any form of suppression of individuality, unwantedness, unvaluedness, and disrespect.

Baby girl, a veneer of happiness, or subservience, is a vice, not a virtue. Be you, as always!

Thanks for writing this, Momma loves ya heaps!

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tunmise adebowale's avatar

thank you mama dear for always supporting me :,) you’re so right, life is indeed too short to keep pretending. i love you big time too!!!!!! 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾❤️❤️

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Rayyan's avatar

In my first year of uni, I took the bold step of slowly leaving a friend group. It was a horrible phase and looking back, the anxiety I had whenever I was around them was ridiculous.

I slipped away for a while and I genuinely felt free! I regained my confidence and now it doesn't take me anything to leave any scene/ relationship that makes me feel less than or just doesn't feel right.

Funny enough, I'm still friends with them but it's very different- I call the shits for myself.

As you said, if rather be alone than be tolerated.

Thank you for writing this.

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