Loved this! Thank you for this masterpiece; you just described what I've always believed in; sometimes I think I will never find love because I have a strong personality (I am a good person and have friends, but also have high standards and value myself); for some people I will be too much and for some others too little, but that's all right. Because I will never make myself little to fit into someone else's standards or to inflate some man's ego. And I'm literally only 20, so I have plenty of time. So thank you for this beautiful post, and one last thing: when you value yourself more, the people who surround you will too🌟 There is nothing more beautiful in a woman than love and respect for oneself💕
oh my god, thankyou so much for writing this gem. a disagreeable and selfish woman is what people have told me all my life (even though im 18 lol). what, for simply living for myself? ive been trying to encourage the women around me to value themselves a bit more and stop tolerating disrespect towards them for the sake of 'peace', but it's really sad how us women feels as though its normal to shrink ourselves to maintain 'harmony' in society.
i really appreciate this essay!! it has everything ive been meaning to say. ❣️
your writing is brilliant! thank you for putting the sentiments into such powerful words. it truly makes me want to wear my stubbornness more proudly (as i've been told by men most recently). "to be selfish is not to be cruel" has stuck with me, and i hope i can remind myself whenever i'm inclined to be a people pleaser.
I agree. I've been a people pleaser for so long especially seeing my mom say yes a lot growing up when she wanted to say no. I'm done trying to be likable. Its tiring and causes anxiety.
I can’t explain with words how your writing makes me feel, but I’ll try! Reading this felt like a nudge of encouragement as someone who struggles a lot with wanting to be “liked” or not come off as too blunt/bitchy. I will make a conscious effort everyday to be a selfish woman and to be disagreeable.
beautifully encouraging piece, it’s one of my biggest goals 😞😞😞 the thing is, being “disagreeable and selfish” with men it’s frustrating and scary (!) because they assert themselves without any care, but being honest with women is something i wish i could be as well. with men it’s always a question of respect (in my case), which is hard to gain, but it’s more straightforward than making someone like you (and i always hope girls do). + i hate that i often end up thinking that if i was prettier i would be much more genuine 💔💔
thank you for sharing your thoughts on this 🫶🏾 it’s a very tough thing to do and i see how you may think you need to live up to a particular standard in order to practice it but i know you can do it!!!!! it’s all about taking little steps to achieving your goal :)
This gives me much needed jolt. I was being sad at never experiencing romance. My own female friends have called me intimidating, cold, unapproachable, rough, serious and scary. Saving this post to get up when I am wallowing in pity.
love your writing so much, it’s always so thought-provoking!!
oh my gosh!!!! this makes my heart so warm, thank you for supporting me!!!!
brilliant as always tunmise!!
awww thank you so much ruby!!! 🫶🏾 it feels cool to have a fellow brilliant woman supporting me :)
Loved this! Thank you for this masterpiece; you just described what I've always believed in; sometimes I think I will never find love because I have a strong personality (I am a good person and have friends, but also have high standards and value myself); for some people I will be too much and for some others too little, but that's all right. Because I will never make myself little to fit into someone else's standards or to inflate some man's ego. And I'm literally only 20, so I have plenty of time. So thank you for this beautiful post, and one last thing: when you value yourself more, the people who surround you will too🌟 There is nothing more beautiful in a woman than love and respect for oneself💕
thank you for reading this! yes, a woman’s self-love and respect is quite a gorgeous thing to witness. it’s something that always makes me smile 💝
ur so me u get it
oh my god, thankyou so much for writing this gem. a disagreeable and selfish woman is what people have told me all my life (even though im 18 lol). what, for simply living for myself? ive been trying to encourage the women around me to value themselves a bit more and stop tolerating disrespect towards them for the sake of 'peace', but it's really sad how us women feels as though its normal to shrink ourselves to maintain 'harmony' in society.
i really appreciate this essay!! it has everything ive been meaning to say. ❣️
gosh thank you!!! we should never shrink ourselves, we need to live boldly
Totally relate to this, that’s why I made a goal at the beginning of the year to be perceived as a bitch
i like that goal!
your writing is brilliant! thank you for putting the sentiments into such powerful words. it truly makes me want to wear my stubbornness more proudly (as i've been told by men most recently). "to be selfish is not to be cruel" has stuck with me, and i hope i can remind myself whenever i'm inclined to be a people pleaser.
thank you for reading this!!! of course, be proud of your stubbornness and never let others push you into pleasing them
I agree. I've been a people pleaser for so long especially seeing my mom say yes a lot growing up when she wanted to say no. I'm done trying to be likable. Its tiring and causes anxiety.
you're right, it is extremely tiring. it is better to say no and take care of yourself than to use your precious energy trying to please others
I can’t explain with words how your writing makes me feel, but I’ll try! Reading this felt like a nudge of encouragement as someone who struggles a lot with wanting to be “liked” or not come off as too blunt/bitchy. I will make a conscious effort everyday to be a selfish woman and to be disagreeable.
Thank you Tunmise for this lovely piece!🫂
awww, thank you so much for reading!! yes, please try to be a selfish woman and never bend to the whims of others ⭐️
beautifully encouraging piece, it’s one of my biggest goals 😞😞😞 the thing is, being “disagreeable and selfish” with men it’s frustrating and scary (!) because they assert themselves without any care, but being honest with women is something i wish i could be as well. with men it’s always a question of respect (in my case), which is hard to gain, but it’s more straightforward than making someone like you (and i always hope girls do). + i hate that i often end up thinking that if i was prettier i would be much more genuine 💔💔
thank you for sharing your thoughts on this 🫶🏾 it’s a very tough thing to do and i see how you may think you need to live up to a particular standard in order to practice it but i know you can do it!!!!! it’s all about taking little steps to achieving your goal :)
I love this so much it actually made me sob. I love women ✨
omg thank you!! 🫶🏾 your comment made me smile :)
Thank you, it was such a lovely read 💓
thank you for reading this 💞
This gives me much needed jolt. I was being sad at never experiencing romance. My own female friends have called me intimidating, cold, unapproachable, rough, serious and scary. Saving this post to get up when I am wallowing in pity.
awww i am glad this gave you some encouragement :) thank you for reading
Wow ❤️
thank you 💛
I. LOVE. THIS. SO MUCH. THANK U FOR WRITING ❤️❤️
AWW THANK YOU FOR READING AND SUPPORTING ⭐️
Chills! This was so beautifully written, and I couldn't agree more. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for reading! I truly appreciate your kind words, happy to see more people share similar thoughts to this :)
This is a great piece! Well written and really hammers home a lot of the themes that have been on my mind lately. Thank you!!!
gosh thank you for reading this! it makes me happy seeing others share their thoughts on this topic!