the intimacy of cannibalism
using luca guadagnino’s film, bones and all, with my friendships
Since the beginning of time, cannibalism has been a source of fascination and horror in human culture. I didn’t really see it being explored in the realm of cinema until Bones and All was released. I remember feeling disgusted, and curious yet admiring how the film takes a unique approach to this taboo subject, offering a nuanced exploration of the intimacy that can exist within the context of cannibalism.
Cannibalism has historically been associated with revulsion and dread. The mere mention of consuming human flesh evokes visceral reactions of disgust and fear. However, the film delved into the complexities of human relationships and the often unspoken desires that drive our actions.
In the film, the protagonist Maren, embarks on a journey of self-discovery. Born with an uncontrollable urge to consume the people she loves, she is constantly on the run, leaving behind a trail of eaten lovers. This premise sets the stage for a narrative that revolves around the dualities of love and violence, desire and repulsion. She later meets Lee, a fellow cannibal and eventually, they both fall in love. Anyone who has seen his works knows how good Guadagnino weaves themes in his films. Guadagnino masterfully weaves an intricate web of relationships in the film, highlighting the profound intimacy that exists between Maren and those she encounters. The act of cannibalism itself, while gruesome on the surface, is presented as an act of profound intimacy. Maren consumes her lovers not out of malice but out of an intense desire to absorb them completely, to become one with them. This perverse form of intimacy forces viewers to confront the thin line that separates love from obsession and destruction.
But please understand before you judge that in this context of cannibalism, people often become cannibals in the first place because they’re ostracised and feel lonely. In the film, there’s an older, more experienced cannibal, Sully, who despite being old enough to be Maren’s father develops an obsession with her. Even threatening to kill and eat her if she doesn’t accept his ‘love.’ Sully after eating his wife, grows very lonely for the years to come and then finally finds someone who understands his circumstances. While Sully was presented as the antagonist of the film, if studied deeper, one can see how and why Sully wanted Maren so badly, although it does not justify his actions in the film.
As for Maren, throughout the film, I could feel her deep desire for acceptance within society. Her father abandoned her and turned himself in to the police when he couldn’t keep running away from the authorities and protecting Maren. Hence I’m not surprised at Maren's fear of being abandoned or rejected due to her cannibalistic urges. Her connection with Lee becomes a manifestation of her longing for acceptance and belonging, which are fundamental aspects of human intimacy. This relationship underscores the idea that intimacy often revolves around finding someone who can embrace our flaws and desires without judgment.
I viewed Lee and Maren’s relationship as a metaphor for forbidden desires and how society often grapples with desires that are considered taboo. Their bond mirrors the tension between the desire for genuine human connection and the fear of judgment for unconventional desires. This tension underscores the broader theme of intimacy in the face of societal norms.
It’s probably why I joke with my friends whenever the love I have for them is so great that I will eat them. It’s my weird way of expressing love and fortunately, they understand that. Especially, Ruby who I’ve probably said I wanted to eat the most (I won’t, Ruby it’s a joke!) but what can you do when you love someone so much, you eat them!
Too many people I love and cherish, like Jupiter would taste like warm miso soup, Ronglei would be creamy ice cream. Millie would be pepperoni with a tomato scent. Bram would probably be the whole appetiser and meal (delicious!). But the point I’m trying to get across is that it’s odd how we say “I will eat you” as a joke whenever we love someone too much. Even my little brother pretended to bite my fingers and when I asked him why he did that, he simply said, “You’re my sister.” Isn’t he just the sweetest?
If this topic interests you, I put down a list of texts I’ve read/watched:
A Carnivore’s Inquiry by Sabina Murray (Novel)
Bones and All (Film)
Hannibal (TV series)
Titus Andronicus by Shakespeare (Play)
Inferno by Dante (Book)
Typee by Herman Melville (Book)
Black Mischief by Evelyn Waugh (Book)
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis (Book)
5 Minutes of Dating Short (Short Film)
“Who wouldn’t want you? Whose most demonic appetite could you possibly fail to answer?”
—Louise Glück
so beautifully written
also THE ENDING QUOTE!! I MISS LOUISE GLÜCK!!